Sitting in my fav Chapel and praying today I was reminded of the many reassuring promises of God in his Word. I went through my feelings, naming them all, and for each one I recalled from memory the Word of God. Perhaps it's for moments like these when the stored up Word comes in handy, so it can speak to my heart in quietness.
I feel rejected and unwanted but God says I did not choose Him, He chose me and would never abandon or forsake me, and He gathers my every tear drop because I am precious to Him. I feel unloved but God says He knew me before I was born and knitted me together in my mother's womb and He loves me so much He sent His only Son to die for me. I feel old and ugly but God calls me His masterpiece and His work of art, and reminds me that He cherishes the inner beauty of a heart that loves Him.
I am heart broken and feel like my life is shattered into pieces but God says He is close to the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. I feel sorrowful and grieve deeply but God says His joy is my strength. I feel insecure and afraid of my future but God says I can trust Him and He has plans for my good. I feel anxious but He says to cast all my cares on Him because He cares for me. I feel forsaken and alone but God says He is always with me and will never leave me.
I feel l like I have lost everything but God says to lay up my treasures in heaven for where my heart is there will I be also. I feel like I have lost my life's identity but in Him I know my true self, a Beloved Child of God. I feel lost in this world which prizes possessions and status and money but God says His ways are not the ways of the world, they are the opposite. The very things of this world take us far from God. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.
I feel hopeless and see a broken life but God promises to make all things beautiful in His time. I feel betrayed and hurt by the ones I loved deeply but God says to trust in Him alone because He never changes and His promises endure forever. I feel like I stray from God and sin so easily because I am hurt and angry but God's grace and mercy are new each day and He forgives me and cherishes me dearly. I feel like my life is meaningless but God says I am His body here on earth, the face, the hands and feet of Christ to the world. I am loved, I have a purpose.
I feel soul weary and exhausted but God says that they that wait upon Him shall rise up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. I feel like life is stagnant and that everything good in me has died but God says that if I delight in His word and if I do not walk with scoffers and those who mock God then I shall be like a tree that is planted by water that yields its fruit in season. I will bear good fruit and I will know His love and peace because my delight is in His Word and my hope is Him alone.
I feel hopeful that if I keep returning to these promises then some day I will heal. I trust that God will bring me to that place of healing some day soon. Meanwhile I remind myself over and over that God is good and life is good and I am good too. I have so much to be thankful for and I am grateful.
Thanks for reading.