Anthony Bourdain: Loved Because He Was Broken.

So many beautiful tributes online for Anthony Bourdain. One of the most touching things I read was that he was so loved by many, not "despite" his brokenness and personal pain, but "because" of it. It's an important distinction.

He struggled with addiction and depression and chose to keep going day after day doing what he loved. It required him to show up and be somebody in front of cameras. Yet he was authentically himself, and unapologetically so. He lived as a genuine person, with integrity and honesty. He spoke unabashedly and from the heart. Or maybe the gut. His opinions were always his own, nobody could say he was anybody's man.

And always, beneath his slightly cynical veneer was a glimpse of passing vulnerability laced with a touch of acidity, as if life itself, while delicious, was giving him indigestion. His was a tasty mix of irreverence, cynicism, wit, intelligence, and charm. All wrapped up in a devil may care attitude that said, "Take it or leave it, this is me. It's who I am. I can't be anybody else."

People like him may struggle with feeling out of place all their lives, journeying towards the next adventure, and the next, on and on, in hope of finding that something that heals their pain, and a life truly worth living. It's Everyman's journey, really.  Perhaps people saw something of their own pain in him, and identified with his brokenness. Maybe he grew tired of wrestling with whatever pain he endured. It happens.

You grow weary of carrying on, secretly knowing that only death can end your suffering. It's sad that he saw no other way out. Life is a difficult journey and so many of us die while we are yet alive. I think he felt he was dying on the inside for some time. Depression does that to a person, and death beckons as a welcome relief. Death, while a mystery filled with the unknown, is that one last adventure for us all. I wish he'd been able to resist it's call for now.

Rest in peace, Anthony Bourdain. Yours was a life genuinely lived and you were true to yourself. Not many of us have the courage to live that way. And thank you for taking us along with you on your travels and foodie adventures. The simplest of joys that you savoured around the world resonated with us wherever we were. A plate of food united us all.

Thanks for reading,

Pav

Truly Human, And Yet Also Divine

My counseling practical is an amazing learning opportunity. I feel both privileged to have the experience, and also deeply humbled, because I am dealing with real lives and real issues. It's a responsibility that is both inspiring and a little frightening.

I am continuing to have an education as to what really happens beneath the thin, shiny veneer we have in Singapore that covers up so much pain and poverty. Poverty exists here, in many, different forms.

Many of us are so poor that we cannot see the sufferings of others around us. It's like the eyes of our souls have shrivelled up, and our hearts are so tiny that they can barely hold anything for anyone other than ourselves. That sort of blindness of the soul and atrophy of the heart is a severe impoverishment to us and to the world at large.

We were meant to live for others, and to love others, in imitation of Christ. May we recognise this poverty within ourselves, and despise it enough to want to be transformed into the image of God, whose love is unconditional and selfless, giving and generous, even to the point of death.

How far would we go to help those who suffer in this world? Can we say to others, "I am here for you, any time of day", and truly mean that and genuinely feel the human connection between two souls? Are we authentic enough to be able to sustain these connections, realising the demands they will place on us, and how we might fail from time to time and yet keep going because that is just life, one step at a time? Can we launch out in faith, truly trusting that God will see us through, as we profess our dependence on Him for all things, including the strength and joy necessary to help others journey through life? 

May we find ways to expand our personal horizons to include the multitudes who live with so much pain and hurt, and are in desperate need of assistance on so many fronts. May we give from our hearts of ourselves, that which others crave the most. Human connection and with it compassion, empathy and understanding. May we be truly human, and yet also divine, as we allow ourselves to be channels of God's love.

Enlarge our hearts, Lord, that we may see You in those around us, and in so doing truly serve from a servant's heart. Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew a right spirit within me.

Thanks for reading,

Pav

Ps. Self care... replenishing one's self so as to better serve others and avoid burn out. I love my morning walkies! Fill my cup, O Lord, till it overflows.