Life in the time of Covid. This past week has seen conversations with chronically ill clients who have had close calls with exposure to Covid, and who have been concerned because of co-morbidities; a constellation of chronic illnesses that makes life already complicated enough without an added possible viral infection to worry about. It's the loss of autonomy and control that is troubling to them though they realise that for some time they have already lost so much in their lives. The ability to plan and direct their own path in life is hindered, and finding joy in curbed pursuits proves challenging. Theirs is a life-long journey of making plans, and reconciling dashed hopes, over and over again, and yet they do not give up hoping.
How does one live fully with shifting sands beneath one's feet, and not despair that life is passing by, unapprehended, unappreciated, unlived even, as one waits to escape the shackles of an unfettered soul trapped in a failing body, both stuck in a time and space in which the chronically ill are in danger of being forgotten because the healthy never really know what it feels like to be perpetually ill, until it happens to them too? One of those moments of epiphany when the penny drops and they finally realise how the other lives.
The chronically ill already know what it means to live diminished lives to some extent, to make plans and have to cancel them, to worry about their safety while nobody else has or wants to, to fear being a burden because others cannot comprehend their needs or suffering, to often walk alone because so few will journey with them. They've been on a rollercoaster for years, and life in the time of Covid is an extended rollercoaster ride with more loops than they care to count, and they cling on as they always have, navigating that fine space between hope and hopelessness with the finesse that only old hands at the game of life can possibly employ after years of chronic illness. They also know that they can never get off, until death do they part with their chronic, incurable illnesses.
As we go back to restrictive measures in this stage of Life in the Time of Covid, I continue to draw strength from these courageous souls who remind me of pillars of strength amidst life's frailties. I am inspired by them to keep going in my own journey with chronic illness. They know, for far longer than many of us, what it is to live with restrictive measures due to physical pain, side effects of medications, emotional and mental anguish, the absence of support, the lack of compassion and understanding, the loneliness of abandonment and rejection, the failure of society to see them as they truly are... they know what it means to suffer.
So as we continue to ride the rollercoaster of "pandemic to endemic" measures, in search of normalcy, freedom, and unfettered living, let's spare a thought for the chronically ill, and particularly the elderly infirm, who know what it is to have little autonomy and possibly no control over events in their lives, and yet they find a way to live meaningful lives. May they know the solace and comfort that comes from the knowledge that life is always filled with hope, and may we all remain hopeful too. Hope is like the sun that rises without fail every morning, firing up our energies, and our imagination, reminding us that some things remain constant despite unending change.
Thank you for reading,
Pav
