A Poem On Grief, and a response

Grief

Grief came one day to visit me
He came quite uninvited.
So sudden and swift was he
I was completely unprepared.

Grief only comes for long stays
So he brings a big bag along;
Once opened up he displays
The many parts of his grief song.

First comes denial, full of disbelief,
Engulfing my heart and brain;
How does one begin to seek relief
While numbness hides the pain.

Anger comes fast upon denial’s heels
Now numb no longer but wounds bleed;
Why now, why me, why do I have to feel,
Tears flow and thoughts swim without heed.

If I just hadn’t said this, if only I hadn’t done that
Regret and sadness mingle with anger’s chorus;
While bargaining makes an entrance next
Desperate to understand things between us.

And just when it feels like I’ve cried all my tears
Depression follows with deep pain and sorrow;
The wounds of the soul gaping bare amidst fears
That I’ll always feel this way tomorrow.

Somewhere along the way comes the end
Where quietly grief ends his drawn out song;
Acceptance is the stage where I can mend,
I wait in tears; don’t let it be long.

Then grief will pack up and leave my soul
And I will stay and carry on,
Patched and mended, once more whole,
And hopefully a lot less forlorn.

Pavitar Kaur Gill

My friend Pauline Tan sent me this in reply to my poem on Grief (25th Feb)

Let not grief overstay his welcome
Take him firmly and show him the door
And while he stays let him make himself useful
Let his grief song make you something more

May the pain you endure illumine your heart
And show you visions you’ll never otherwise see
Though Grief may gnaw and bring you tears
Its servant you shall never be

In the turmoil and storm which Grief brings
Your feelings shout you are indeed alive
The denial, anger, regret and depression
Are but varied fashions of the cross

For strangely those whom He loves best of all
Also share most closely His pain
This is the paradox of being his beloved
For us to live is Christ, to die is gain.

Pauline Tan