Farewell to My Sweet Ma

 My beloved mother, Dalip Kaur, (Bibo) (8th Jan 1941 - 4th April 2025) passed away at 10.32pm Friday, 4th April. A light has left us, and a loving heart beats no more. Her health had taken a turn for the worse, but her departure is still sudden. She will be deeply missed, and forever cherished. 

Reposting a tribute I wrote for her on her 80th birthday. Farewell to my sweet Ma. Thank you for everything, Ma. I love you. ❤️

My Ma, Dalip Kaur Penu aka "Bibo", is a true survivor. Born at the start of WW2, she evacuated to the village in Punjab with her mother and brothers, and her cousins. Their ancestral village is Moghal Chakkhe, in Amritsar district. Their ship from Singapore was bombed but managed to limp into Bombay harbour. Apparently many prayers were made at Ma's feet on account of her childlike innocence, and the hope that God would save the ship because of her. A simple yet carefree life in the village saw them safely through the war and they returned to Singapore where her father had remained in the Police force. 

Ma went to Raffles Girls' School and skipped a couple of years schooling, as did her brothers at ACS. While they went on to uni, she went to Teachers' Training College, and got married the day after graduation, at age 19, to my father, who was a Malaysian government scholar at University Malaya in Singapore. They returned to Malaysia, and travelled about as my father was appointed state auditor for Selangor, Perak and Penang, with each of us children being born in these various states, while Ma taught at govt schools. Sadly, things didnt work out between them, and Ma took the very bold step of leaving for her parents' home in Singapore with us 3 kids in tow in 1970, when I was three years old. 

We spent 5 lovely years with our beautiful Grandma, and Grandpa who retired from the Police and was a night watchman at a bank. Ma had a great job with the Children's Charities, driving her sporty yellow Datsun to meetings at the Istana to plan events and zipping about cutting a dashing figure in her embroidered saris or her practical pantsuits. She even won a "Belle of the Ball" prize which was a trip to Bali. I remember her energy and zest for life, and I think those were her happiest years. 

We returned to KL in 1975 after my father wooed Ma back, but eventually they parted ways again, and I rarely saw my father more than twice a year. To top it all off, we became Christians in 1981, and he disowned us, remarried, and adopted a child. Ma, however, dedicated her life to us. We stood by and watched God provide for our every need, and more, as Ma prayed for us, and opened up our humble rented apartment home to countless visitors who came by for food and fellowship. No one left our home hungry. Ma cooked the most delicious chicken curry, mutton curry, mixed veggies, dahi vadai,  chapatis and masala tea. Every single thing she cooked was the tastiest meal, no matter how simple. 

God became her rock and comfort and she overcame every difficulty life threw at her simply by praying her way through it, often in tears. She's one of the strongest and most generous people I have ever known. She gives, with no expectation of anything in return. Everyone who walked through our home was blessed by her generosity of heart and loving care, her hospitality and willingness to share, and her desire to share her love for God. 

My Ma was a missionary to the Barios in the mountains of East Malaysia, and to Nepal, having graduated from Bible School later in life, in 2001, aged 60, with several distinctions. If her health had allowed it, she would have continued being a missionary but she had to be grounded as she grew older after a chest infection floored her in Kathmandu. Ma remains cheerful, and keeps busy with her Bible study and copious note taking and sermon writing. She's a veritable storehouse of all sorts of information. 

She loves to learn, speaks several languages, and has a zany sense of humour that has seen her through tough times. I remember cuddling with her and watching tv together as a teenager, and being wrapped up in her warm embrace and feeling that I was in the safest and sweetest place on earth, and we'd laugh about her wobbly fats, and how all mothers have just the right amount to be the best pillows, and Ma is really the perfect pillow for snuggles. Those were the happiest times of my life, in Ma's embrace.

Ma taught me how to swim; on lazy Saturday afternoons in Singapore she would fry up chicken wings while we watched Sesame Street, and she'd take us to the Singapore Swimming Club and we'd swim, and some nights we'd have open air movie screening nights right next to the beach there because they hadn't reclaimed the east coast then in the early 1970s. Ma was a progressive, ahead of her time, prepared to push the boundaries as a woman, and refusing to be bullied or cowed by backward traditions that oppressed her. 

Multi talented and beautiful, she has a charm that is quite alluring, but as she reminds us, she never remarried because she had daughters to raise, and she worried about us. I think Ma has been happiest doing her own thing, being her own person, and living her own life, entirely on her own terms. I salute her, and her courage, strength, generosity, kindness, and her deep love for God. 

Like all of us, Ma isn't perfect, but her faults are tiny compared to her many strengths. I love you, sweet Ma, and I'm so very sad not to be with you on your 80th birthday. You deserve a big fuss, a noisy party, lots of yummy food and thoughtful gifts, and especially, I wish we could snuggle up like we used to, with both our wobbly fats now, and just giggle away, content to be with someone who knows our every failing and loves us unconditionally anyway. I love you more than you know, and I miss you. ❤