If I Hurt You, I Hurt Myself

An old reflection, from Sept 2016. 

I love this statement, "The mark you leave in another's heart is also left on yours" by Bryant McGill. An interesting thought, and one I have known to be true. That's why being kind is important, not only for the good it brings to others but for the good it brings to you. I have often felt that "if I hurt you, I hurt myself" applies in my life and in my interactions with others. It's a concept that extends especially to those we love and yet also to those we do not love. We are all interconnected somehow by virtue of our humanity. 

How deep and troubling is our struggle then when we are forced to take action to protect ourselves and in so doing we have to hurt others. Sometimes in life you simply have to do this. It's the hardest thing ever, to close a door that's been wanting to close, to leave it shut, to nail it shut even, and in the process feel the pain of those nails in your own heart. Love never dies. It never does. And so the nails we hammer into doors that need to remain closed serve only to remind us that sometimes in life we do have to hurt ourselves by hurting others, simply because it's what they want and it's what we need. You let people go because they want to leave, and in so doing you feel the deepest pain you'll ever know. 

The crucifixion of your own heart. 

All that keeps you going is the hope of a resurrection some day soon. That all that was good and kind and joyful and loving will come alive in your numb heart once more and the doors of your heart will open again because it'll be safe to fling them wide and feel alive. Until then one waits in the tomb, shrouded in the cold, dark womb of metamorphosis like the caterpillar awaiting the butterfly. It's a long process. Be still, my beating heart, embrace the numbness you feel... it's in survival mode. This, too, shall pass.

Thanks for reading, 

Pav

(10th Sept 2016)