Back at School

Living in gratitude on day 15 of a 30 day liquid diet. I am grateful that despite my health I am getting my studies back on track.

In late 2016 I signed up for an MA in Counseling from Monash Uni, taught off campus here at Kaplan in Singapore. I've always felt drawn to helping people, and I am a perpetual student who loves learning, so I figured it would be a good fit.

I managed a distinction in my first "Ethics in Counseling" unit and looked forward to the second unit, "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy". Unfortunately, while I made it to all my lectures, I fell ill with a Crohn's flare and ended up in hospital in March 2017. I had to take time out of my course. Monash uni kindly considered my multi faceted personal issues and gave me a year off to recover.

As time came to re-register, I wondered if I wanted to return to this course or do something else. I considered Art History, Creative Writing and even Social Work courses. I fantasized about Archaeology, Marine Biology and Museum Management. My interests are so varied that it's hard to box me in! I also had to struggle with how I felt about helping people when I myself felt so at sea in my life, tossed about by many events beyond my control.

It's okay to acknowledge that we are imperfect and have problems of our own and to recognise that despite all that goes on in our own lives we can still help others. Counselors need counseling too. I didn't have to wait for my life to be problem free before I could help others. I could be the "wounded healer" right where I was, and as someone with many wounds I was actually in a good place to empathise with others and journey alongside them.

So I decided that since I had been working through my own issues for many months, and because I truly value the incredible worth of being able to provide a safe space for another to unburden themselves, that I would continue with the MA in Counseling.

Shortly after re-registering in December 2017 I began to fall ill, resulting in my recent hospitalisation and 30 day liquid diet on steroids. I told myself that liquid diet or not I was going to my classes, and aceing my first in class, graded role play assignment. Last night was the first block of 4 days of intensive classes which will end with the assignment on Sunday. I survived with my Resource and IsoCal packets at hand.

Better still, this time around, at my second go at "Cognitive Behaviour Therapy", I ended up in a group with people who were easy to work with, and I fit right in. Last year I made the mistake of choosing to do my own 4000 word written essay rather than the group assignment  because the group dynamics was off and I didn't have the patience to work that through. I regretted that later when I was unwell and had a full workload of 2 essays that I could not manage.

This time, I told myself that no matter what the circumstances were, I was going to get half my work load done through the group assignment because it would be over by Sunday. Work smart but don't be a smarty pants, Pav!

I am so grateful that by 1030pm last night when we left class, we had the bare bones of our role play sketched out, had worked beyond our scope for the evening, had no personality clashes, had subdivided everything, and everyone was totally committed to getting the best grade possible for the group.

The vibes were positive, the mood was buoyant, we were smiling and happy, and hope abounded. So awesome! I walked in on an existing class that had bonded for a year, and I didn't know anybody, and I left feeling quite comfortable with 3 new acquaintances with whom I plan to ace CBT. Eyes on the goal, Pav.... Sunday!

I think I've changed in a year, and am far more accepting of all sorts of things and more flexible, and I think God has shown me His grace and mercy through everything. This year things are getting better, even as I am. I am so grateful that my studies are back on track and I look forward to finishing this and truly being open and available to helping others. It's exciting!

Thanks for reading,

Pav