People tend to be afraid to speak about death because it's taboo or superstitious or bad luck. It's morbid and dark and gloomy. All negatives with very few positives. I believe that the notion of death is a positive one and should be embraced as such.
When I completed my BA in English, I wanted to do an MA focusing on the imagery of death in poetry by Emily Dickinson. My American Literature lecturer was suitably pleased, but then later disappointed, when I left to pursue romance in Singapore instead.
Years later, I was accepted into an external PhD programme in the UK to examine the use of imagery to depict death in poetry by the terminally ill. My cancer specialist friend, however, told me that his patients never wrote poetry, they mostly swore in dialect and played religious chants on a loop. Not much chance of gleaning "death imagery" there. I decided to let death go, and to try and be a little less "melancholy". :)
The death of people close to us is so hard to bear because of the bond we have shared in life. We only ever truly feel that bond rip apart when those who love us die and suddenly we realise the depth of love that was there. My maternal Grandma's death was hard for me because I knew how much she loved me and I hung on selfishly, and sobbed wildly, when she passed on.
My father's death was traumatic for me because I never knew if he ever loved me, and I hung on selfishly hoping he knew that I loved him despite his failings and forgave him his absence in my life. His passing left an abyss in my heart that took many years to heal. I don't know if it really has healed.
Death in the abstract seems almost an escape or a release from the burdens of life, disease, and a crazy world which sometimes seems insane. Death in reality is a pain filled trauma of surrendering part of one's self, reflected in another, into the unknown.
One's own death should be something to anticipate because it is a certainty. Nothing else is so certain once we are born. How does one anticipate one's death when we cannot know the date, time or place when it will occur? It is the ultimate surprise of all surprises.
The only way forward is to live a well examined life in which one strives to live uprightly. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. Everything starts there. Why fear man when he can tear down the body but cannot destroy the soul? It is God who is our salvation. By ordering our lives rightly we can live without fear of meeting our Maker. We can say we are ready to go at any time.
I am grateful for the prospect of death because it helps me live my life well. Yes, I need help living an upright life. It's the greatest challenge of all to be able to end the race and say we ran it well.
I am not afraid to die. In fact, I welcome death because I view it as a doorway to another phase. I believe in eternity and the afterlife. I hear them beckon as my years pass by, and I feel my soul grow old as she seeks peace, quiet, solace, contemplation and prayer as a means of growing ready to live that eternity. The growth of the soul is life's work in preparation for death and eternity. I remain grateful that I will cross that threshold some day, and I embrace the certainty of death without fear. Meanwhile, I intend to live fully.
Thanks for reading,
Pav
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