Day 29 of A Month of Gratitude #AMOG, and today, I am #grateful for #eldestson. He's the #pioneer who paved the way for his siblings, and made a mother out of me. I still remember how excited I was at the prospect of motherhood, and how I read every help book, attended ante-natal classes, and was overjoyed to see him growing on ultrasound scans.
Of course, giving birth isn't quite like the books say it is, and nothing really prepares you for it or for motherhood. What a wild ride it has been! Eldest son was the most cheerful of babies though, fairly easy to care for, very active, and such a bundle of joy that we happily had more kids. Why not, when eldest son was so much fun?
I remember one fine Saturday evening, when he was a few months old, he started screaming his lungs out, and I thought he was going to burst his gut or something scary, so we bundled him off to the GP down the road. As soon as we left the house, he cheered up, smiled at everyone he saw, and was happy once again. In fact, he was totally healthy too, as the GP told us while charging us $40 for the consult. As first time parents we had no idea which cry was the "I want to go for a walk, just being home all day with you two is rather dull!" cry. We received an education that day. Eldest son needs so much more of a social milieu than just his parents.
Another early lesson we learnt was never to entirely trust junior doctors. We took eldest son for his 3 month baby check up at a polyclinic, and a junior doctor decided to test his eyesight. She moved a pen in front of his face as he sat attentively on my lap, and suddenly, her face fell, and she said, "Your son may be blind, let me consult my senior doctor", and she scampered off, leaving us bewildered. Our son may be blind?! What? I looked at him and was sure he looked right back at me, and our hearts pounded in our chests as we wondered if our son hadn't been seeing us for 3 whole months and we were clueless! Senior doctor came back, ran a test or two and established what I had always known... he wasn't blind! Oh thank God, eldest son just didn't think junior doctor's pen was worth his effort and time. He preferred human faces!
As a toddler, he loved running everywhere he went, and engaging in conversations with everyone. Active, and chatty, he made friends easily, and had a group of admirers at the playground who enjoyed playing with him in the evenings. He also had a deep sense of perceiving injustice and unfairness at an early age. I'll always remember him offering part of his lunch to the helper at the table next to us at a restaurant... she wasn't allowed to eat while her employers enjoyed a sumptuous lunch, so eldest son offered his food to her. She smiled and declined, but in that moment, I saw his #generous and #compassionate heart, and I knew he felt for the oppressed.
I've learnt a lot about eldest son over the years. He's #smart and #charming, loves activity and company and has friends from a wide range of backgrounds, is a very loyal friend, is street smart and savvy, and he doesn't do things that are a waste of his time and effort. He will side with the underdog whenever he can, and has a keen interest in human rights, being quite unable to stand by and see others suffer. He can also see right through people and ascertain the truth of situations quite easily; he isn't blind at all.
Whenever good opportunities come his way, he brings his friends along for the ride. You can count on him to come through for you, to be there in your darkest of times, and to be generous and genuinely loving of those he calls his tribe. Watching him grow and evolve over time has been a treat. An open heart and a loving soul who truly cares and gives of himself despite his own struggles, he's always there when others need him.
My fav thing to do with him is to watch something together because we have similar tastes, especially with science fiction, war movies, historical series, human rights stories, social justice and civic movements and all their struggles... these sorts of things are a shared connection that we explore from time to time. A recommendation of a movie from him is always worth considering because he recognises a quality production that usually resonates with me. A discussion about it segues to chats on current affairs, affairs of the heart, and a general check in with how we are doing. Precious moments, and cherished memories.
A look from eldest son when I am down is all it takes for me to cheer up. His look says either, "Are you alright, everything okay?" or "Are you alright, please be okay!" and in both cases, I am okay, because he wishes it, and because his well being is wrapped up in mine and vice-versa. What a privilege it has been to have had eldest son show me the ropes as a first time mum. I have often felt so inadequate, and wondered if I was doing enough as a chronically ill mother. I look at eldest son, and the lovely person that he is today, and I am happy and grateful.
Thank you for being you... you are a joy to my heart. I love you more than I can ever express.
Pix of us in May 2016 when he commissioned as 2Lt, and on holiday in Melbourne in 2018.
#AMOG #AMonthOfGratitude #GratefulForEldestSon #Pioneer #MadeAMumOutOfMe #BundleOfJoy #Smart #Charming #Active #Chatty #Cheerful #LoyalFriend #Generous #Compassionate #StreetSmartAndSavvy #ChampionsUnderdogs #HumanRights #SimilarTastes #SciFiFans #JoyToMyHeart #IMadeItThroughDayTwentyNine
Thanks for reading,
Pav
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